THE ONLY SUREFIRE WAY TO STOP FEAR FROM STOPPING YOU
"FEAR!" That is the answer I get 9 ½ times out of 10 when I ask someone what is stopping them from reaching their goals in real estate. Why are you letting the fear stop you? "I don't know" is the typical response. The answer is that they do not understand fear and they do not know what it takes to push through it. Let me start by explaining what I believe fear is. Fear is an extremely powerful and useful emotion that was given to us to protect ourselves. Fear makes us stop and consider what is about to happen and gives us time to evaluate. It turns on our senses and lets us experience the world at a higher level. Fear is an extremely positive thing and should not be avoided, but it does need to be managed. I love the motto, "Feel the fear and do it anyway." I learned that at a self development camp I went to several years ago. It runs through my head each time I am about to face something that scares me.
At this camp we did some really crazy things that were meant to be safe AND scare you. Things like walking over broken glass, being put in situations where physical harm was threatened, and tackling an obstacle course 30 or more feet above the ground. All of these tasks were meant to help the attendees learn about themselves, and learn how to handles stressful and fearful situations. It was extremely uncomfortable, and if not for the peer pressure, my guess is that most people would not have participated. The interesting thing about this is that the peer pressure was extremely effective, but is not always there to help you along. When you are in business for yourself, you don't have this outside pressure close by to help you accomplish your task. You need another tool in your tool box.
Travis and I were speaking the other day and I brought up something that Tony Robbins talks about a lot. Every decision is made for one of two reasons. Decisions are made to gain pleasure or avoid pain. Avoiding pain is a much stronger driving force. Avoiding pain is the motivator that lets fear stop us. With this knowledge you can create a plan to tackle even the scariest situations in business. The key is to understand the worst case scenario if you make the decision to push through the fear and then the worst case scenario if you choose to let the fear stop you. If you don't consciously think about this, the fear will likely stop you. Again, the reason for this is the pain of facing the fear could be immediate, appearing more intense than the alternative. The reality is that the pain can be much, much more intense if you don't push through the fear.
Long before you ever get into a situation that will require you to overcome fear, you should think about what you really want out of this business. What will you really be giving up if you are not successful? You need to really feel this deep down. Why are you in this business in the first place? What do you want? What happens if you don't hit your goals or you are not successful? I have written about this before, but this is your "why". Without a clear and powerful "why", fear could be too strong to overcome. This is the problem many unsuccessful investors have that the successful ones do not. With a powerful "why", fear will never stop you!
Stop reading this article and think about that. Think about what it is you want. It is bigger than money and bigger than you? It is not because you want a big house and a nice car. It is something strong that will cause an emotional reaction to talk or think about. An example could be a charitable cause or a family member you want or need to help. Spend time thinking about the reason you NEED to be successful and put up reminders where you spend time working. Photos or motivational quotes work really well. I have a coffee mug that I drink my coffee from every morning that is covered with photos of me and my girls. It is impossible for me not to stay motivated when I see this each and every day.
Once you have a powerful "why" you will be unstoppable! The next time you feel the fear, take a few minutes to recognize that it is there to protect you and think about what it is trying to protect you from. In the highly unlikely scenario that it is trying to protect you or someone you love from physical harm, recognize that and make a decision based on your priorities. In the likely scenario that no physical harm will come, I suggested focusing on what you are giving up by letting fear stop you. Focus on the "why". Think about the pain it is causing or will cause if you don't face the fear. Really think about it. Although it is not immediate and instantly intense, what pain is greater?
I understand that fear is real, and there is a chance you will fail at your task. A failure here and there is OK and in my opinion, even necessary to reach your goals. Like fear, failure is positive. I have learned the most from my failures, and attribute my success, in part, to them. Overcome fear by thinking about avoiding pain and thinking about your big "why". Once you do that, feel the fear and do it anyway!
